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A couple of days ago, Mui asks me where the present was that Daddy left her. It was supposed to be in our bathroom, but she couldn’t find anything. I explained to her that Daddy was joking. He was calling the poop in the toilet that didn’t flush a present. She didn’t believe me.

Tonight, I told SO to explain to Mui about the present in our bathroom. He does so and she says that it’s not a present. He explains that it is a present, just not one anyone wants. She frowns, then lets out a fart and says, “Daddy, that’s your present.” I high-fived her.

(For this, you can call Nanny 911.)