Mom Dating

Several years ago a friend told me she was hesitant to get to know a new neighbor because they were renting and she didn’t know how long they would be around. I didn’t get it. I figured if you get along, why not make a new friend. What could it hurt? I have changed my tune since then.

We moved to Fremont 2 years ago and it has been easy to meet people with whom I have a lot in common. In fact, I have this one friend who I can drink with AND can rely on to get my kids if I have to work late. This last year with SO on travel so much, she has been a godsend, inviting me and the kids over for dinner when she knew I needed a break from holding everything together alone. So my kids would play with her kids, while she and I would cook and chat. But she is moving.

Not far, mind you. Only 30 minutes away. But still. Our girls will not be in the same GS troop together. It will be harder for her to come out and play (karaoke rules, y’all). And I wonder how long we can sustain this friendship. We both have busy lives. And 30 minutes travel requires more planning than when we lived 3 minutes from each other. Would either of us have invested in this relationship knowing that time was so short?

I met another potential friend on one of our karaoke outings. A friend of a friend. We went on a family date the other day to see if our families get along. We were also using the opportunity to get to know each other (in daylight, sans booze) and our future plans. She pointedly asked me if I would be sticking around. Because she liked me, but didn’t want to invest in a friendship if I was just going to move away. I felt the same way. I have moved from being ok with casual dating to wanting a long term relationship.

So, Ms. Neighbor Who Just Moved In, I’m sorry if I seem to not engage fully. I don’t know where you will be in a year. And while I am ok with sharing a laugh and a beer while our kids play together. I will likely not invite you into my life.

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