There is No Comfort
The week of Aug 3, Mui’s close friend, Robyn, developed a fever of 105°. The fever never went below 100° and on Aug 10, she was rushed to the hospital after she started seizing. She was in the ICU at Children’s Primary for 5 weeks. The doctors couldn’t diagnose the cause of the fever and no medication they gave her could control the seizures. The seizures took their toll and she was left with no cognitive or motor abilities. She was taken off life support on Friday, Sep 11 at her grandmother’s home, under the stars, in her parents’ arms.
Robyn and her brother, Aidan, were part of our Friday playgroup that included another boy, Mui, and 4 other girls. We, the mothers, told the kids a few days after Robyn died. Mui’s initial reaction was heart wrenching. She cried so hard and kept repeating that she was so sad and that Robyn was her best friend. But after 10 minutes, she moved on. She still mentions, once in a while, how she misses Robyn. She also says that Robyn will take care of the fish I have killed over the years. I wish it were that easy to comfort adults.
Jenny, Robyn’s mom, is a close friend. And to see her in so much pain and despair breaks my heart. None of the playgroup moms know how to help. Some are afraid that the sight of us and our daughters will just remind her of her loss and have suggested giving her space and letting her know we care and are there for her via emails, texts, and written notes. I just want to bombard her with myself and my kids, hoping to provide some distraction. Mui keeps asking to see Jenny so she can hug her because “Aunt Jenny wants me to go to her house and give her snuggles”. I guess we all have to play it by ear and what’s in our hearts.
PS This tribute video Robyn’s brother made will help remind me of her beautiful smile.