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I have been on a mission to get Mui into first grade this year. She misses the cut-off by 2 weeks. Utah has this inane rule that kids must be at least 5 by Sep 1 to enter kindergarten. I put her in a private kindergarten last year, expecting to test her into first grade this year.

It is 2 weeks into the school year. This is what has occurred so far:
1) Assessment by teacher on whether she is ready for Kindergarten
2) Assessment by school psychologist on whether she is ready for first grade
3) Assessment of her IQ

I still have to meet with the school social worker and principal next week. So we could discuss “next steps”. What are the next steps? I’m glad you asked. I have no idea. The school social worker mentioned something about further psychological assessments. When I asked if there were specific concerns, she said no.

This is how I expect the meeting to go:
Principal: On this IQ chart, normal is here. (Pointing to the chart.) Mui is here. (Pointing right below where she was pointing before.)
Me: What does that mean? What do I need to do to get her into first grade?
Principal: Is there a Mr. Kong?

Mui has her first loose tooth. Actually two, right next to each other. She is so excited to be growing up. Unfortunately for us, she thinks she is already grown.

Me: Honey, want to watch Iron Man 2?
Mui: I want to go! I want to go!
Me: It’s not an appropriate movie for you. It’s PG-13.
Mui: It’s ok, Mom. I’m old enough. My tooth is loose.

Mui: Mom, do you love Spongebob Squarepants?

Mom: Meh. Not my favorite.

Mui: I think you should love Spongebob.

Mom: Why’s that?

Mui: Because I love Spongebob and if you let me watch Spongebob, I’ll stop bothering you.

Whenever I bring Mui shopping, I have to preempt each trip with “We are NOT here to buy toys. We are NOT here to buy candy. So don’t ask.” But she still asks, well, begs. She doesn’t get that things cost money, that just because Mommy has a credit card does not mean we can afford to buy every Barbie she fancies. She needed to learn about money…and value.

SO and I had discussed giving her an allowance, but I wanted her to have a more direct understanding of value. She already has responsibilities like taking a bath, brushing her teeth and getting dressed that she does with only a little complaint. Then there are responsibilities that she will dodge and ignore until I do them for her, things like picking up her toys and putting away her clothes. So we created a chore chart. Some things she gets paid for, others she does not.

We negotiated what goes on the chart and for which ones she gets paid. At the end of each day, we tally her chores and she gets her “paycheck”. Yesterday, she wanted a bag of M&M’s. It cost $1. When we got home, she had to pay me back. (Next time, she will have some money with her so she can count out the quarters for whatever she is buying.)
Me: Mui, the M&M’s cost a dollar. How many quarters are in a dollar?
Mui: 4
Me: How many chores do you have to do to earn a dollar?
Mui: 4
Me: How many chores does your bag of M&M’s cost?
Mui: (A look of surprise) 4. That’s a lot, Mama.
Me: Yes, it is. It takes a lot of work to earn money to buy things.

I also negotiated a deal where she pays me if she wants me to listen to her whine. I tell her it’s work for me to listen to her whine, so if she can’t stop whining and can’t go to another room when she wants to whine, she will have to pay me a quarter for having to listen to her.
Mui: Here Mama. (hands me a quarter)
Me: Are you whining?
Mui: No. It’s for later.
Me: You are prepaying me so you can whine later?
Mui: Yes. (and laughs)

I think she’s got it.

SO: Where do I need to turn?

Me: Make a right on Martin Luther King Jr.

Mui: I know Martin Luther King Jr.

Me: You do? What do you know about him.

Mui: He’s black.

SO: He is. What else do you know about him?

Mui: He was killed.

Me: Why was he killed?

Mui: He stopped the people from fighting.

SO: Why were the people fighting?

Mui: Because the blacks wanted to sit down and they couldn’t.

SO: Why couldn’t they sit down?

Mui: Because the whites wouldn’t let the blacks sit with them.

SO: And is that ok?

Mui: No. That’s not nice.

Me: And then what happened?

Mui: The blacks and the whites can sit together now.

I am impressed with Mui’s school. It’s difficult to explain civil rights and racism to a 5 year old. Although they did not explain racism, per se, she got that black people were not given the same rights as white people and that it wasn’t right. She got that black people were, literally, fighting for their rights. And she got that MLK was about non-violent protest. All I remember learning at the cloistered Chinese Christian Schools was that dinosaurs didn’t exist and that you can get AIDS from people spitting in your soup. I prefer Mui’s education.

It is open enrollment time for the Utah schools. In Utah, your are assigned a neighborhood school based on where you live, but your child does not have to go there. You can apply for your child to attend another school in the district provided you are willing to do drop off and pick up yourself.

Mui will be starting first grade in the fall and her friends from the neighborhood go to Oakridge Elementary, not Oakwood Elementary, our assigned school. Oakridge has an outstanding reputation and the highest test scores in the state. However, the only afterschool care that busses from that school costs the equivalent of a mortgage payment.

Mui’s current day care busses from Oakwood (our assigned school). However, Oakwood does not test as high as Oakridge and is located across the street from a youth center for troubled teens.

What is a parent to do? You want the best for your child, but it must be tempered with reality. We can’t afford another mortgage payment and I can’t leave work early everyday to pick her up. So we are compromising. She will be going to Cottonwood Elementary, a school that tests higher than Oakwood, but not as high as Oakridge, is in a residential area, AND she will be bussed by her current day care afterschool. Unfortunately, her little friends don’t go to Cottonwood, but she’ll make new ones.

We got an Elf on the Shelf a couple of weeks ago. It’s this family tradition that is now mass produced in the form of box set containing the elf and a book. Essentially, the elf is Santa’s eyes and ears when it comes to whether kids belong on the naughty or nice list. The elf magics himself to the North Pole each night to report on the children’s behavior. When he returns, he finds a new perch. (Although, the location gets less and less inspired as the days pass.)

Mui loved the idea. She named the elf Jolly and wakes early each morning to elf-hunt. She tells Jolly what she wants for Christmas. She also whispers to him the rationale behind some seemingly bad behavior (i.e. Daddy was being mean.)

One day, SO was shifting the DVD player and knocked over Jolly. SO quickly picked up Jolly, but too late. Mui already noticed. She FLIPPED OUT. She accused SO of doing it on purpose. She cried that Jolly lost his magic. You see, the rule is no touching to elf or he loses his magic. Otherwise, kids would be tossing the elf out the door whenever they did something bad. It took a while, but we convinced Mui Jolly was fine and that we would know for sure when he is in a new spot in the morning. And he was in a new spot the next morning.

As soon as she gets to school each morning, Mui reports to her teachers on Jolly’s new hiding spot. She believes. In fact, when they were writing letters to Santa, Mui announced she didn’t need to do that because Jolly will tell Santa what she wants.

I must admit that SO and I have been abusing Jolly’s power. “Mui, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Jolly is going to tell Santa.” She looks at us incredulously then rethinks her action. We may have to come up with something that will work year-round. Something we can mass-produce and sell as a boxed gift set to make oodles of money and pay for all of Mui’s Christmas presents.