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I have been on a mission to get Mui into first grade this year. She misses the cut-off by 2 weeks. Utah has this inane rule that kids must be at least 5 by Sep 1 to enter kindergarten. I put her in a private kindergarten last year, expecting to test her into first grade this year.

It is 2 weeks into the school year. This is what has occurred so far:
1) Assessment by teacher on whether she is ready for Kindergarten
2) Assessment by school psychologist on whether she is ready for first grade
3) Assessment of her IQ

I still have to meet with the school social worker and principal next week. So we could discuss “next steps”. What are the next steps? I’m glad you asked. I have no idea. The school social worker mentioned something about further psychological assessments. When I asked if there were specific concerns, she said no.

This is how I expect the meeting to go:
Principal: On this IQ chart, normal is here. (Pointing to the chart.) Mui is here. (Pointing right below where she was pointing before.)
Me: What does that mean? What do I need to do to get her into first grade?
Principal: Is there a Mr. Kong?

I was in Vegas last weekend with my sister and BIL. He had some dental convention and I kept my sis company. Along with checking out the outlet mall and the M&M and Coke stores, one of my must-do’s was meeting @ThinGuy and @MrsThinGuy (Craig and Denae to those in the parrallel, non-twitter universe).

We met at Firefly on Paradise, a tapas place with really good food and really good mojitos. I had a lot of both. I was nervous to finally meet Craig and Denae. I have this short complex and Craig is a giant. Fortunately, we were sitting except for the initial hug, hug, handshake, handshake.

I also got to meet Julie and Terry, a couple of their friends. I think Terry is Mr. Magically Delicious. I forgot to ask. But he is Irish. And was wearing a green hat with a shamrock on it. And wouldn’t share his cereal.

I had a blast. My sister and BIL had a blast. Huge thank you to Craig, Denae, Julie and Terry. Definitely keeping you guys on the Vegas-Must-See list.

Mui has her first loose tooth. Actually two, right next to each other. She is so excited to be growing up. Unfortunately for us, she thinks she is already grown.

Me: Honey, want to watch Iron Man 2?
Mui: I want to go! I want to go!
Me: It’s not an appropriate movie for you. It’s PG-13.
Mui: It’s ok, Mom. I’m old enough. My tooth is loose.

Mui: Mom, do you love Spongebob Squarepants?

Mom: Meh. Not my favorite.

Mui: I think you should love Spongebob.

Mom: Why’s that?

Mui: Because I love Spongebob and if you let me watch Spongebob, I’ll stop bothering you.

A few years ago while visiting my parents’ village in China, we noticed something. The men and women there have some huge noggins. And the men all looked like my brother, but I digress.

My mom, my brothers, one sister, and I have been saddled with huge heads proving one size does not fit all. And my children have big heads, too. In fact, Didi can barely fit his head through the neck hole of most of his shirts.

Growing up, we could not understand why we had big heads. Big heads were not a Chinese thing. Most Chinese people can find a hat that fits. But during this trip, we hit upon it. All those people in my parents’ village have big heads and they are Hakka. Therefore, Hakkas have big heads. Which explains the missing top on the Hakka hat.

When I got home, I checked online for famous Hakka people to test my theory. Deng Xiaoping – big head. Leslie Cheung – big head. Chow Yun-Fat – Really big head. Our family now refers to our big heads as Hakka heads. As in “Don’t cry, Mui. You don’t have a big head. You have a Hakka head.”

What kind of fuckwaddery is this new Arizona law? It allows the police to arrest and check immigration statuses of anyone who looks “suspicious” to them. Which means police can harrass anyone they don’t like. And if citizens feel the police are NOT enforcing the new law (because the police have a shred of humanity and decency), they can sue the city and state. Now, states bordering Arizona want to pass similar laws to discourage “illegals” from fleeing Arizona and entering their borders. (I’m looking at you, Utah. Reason #4,894,562 why I won’t raise my kids here.)

This law scares the crap out of me. Firstly, because we are returning to state sanctioning racism. Secondly, because I am Chinese. My kids are Chinese. My parents are Chinese. We don’t look like the people who supported and passed this law. This is no different than the rampant racism during WWII that put any person of Japanese descent, citizen or not, in internment camps. No different than in the 50′s when any person of Chinese descent, citizen or not, could be suspected of being a communist and interrogated. Arizona is hiding behind “national security” as the excuse to strip people of their rights as citizens and, worse, human beings. Arizona is legalizing racism. Russell Pearce and Jan Brewer might as well pass anti-miscegenation laws to keep their people’s race pure. It’s about as progressive and constitutional as this Immigration Law.

Whenever I bring Mui shopping, I have to preempt each trip with “We are NOT here to buy toys. We are NOT here to buy candy. So don’t ask.” But she still asks, well, begs. She doesn’t get that things cost money, that just because Mommy has a credit card does not mean we can afford to buy every Barbie she fancies. She needed to learn about money…and value.

SO and I had discussed giving her an allowance, but I wanted her to have a more direct understanding of value. She already has responsibilities like taking a bath, brushing her teeth and getting dressed that she does with only a little complaint. Then there are responsibilities that she will dodge and ignore until I do them for her, things like picking up her toys and putting away her clothes. So we created a chore chart. Some things she gets paid for, others she does not.

We negotiated what goes on the chart and for which ones she gets paid. At the end of each day, we tally her chores and she gets her “paycheck”. Yesterday, she wanted a bag of M&M’s. It cost $1. When we got home, she had to pay me back. (Next time, she will have some money with her so she can count out the quarters for whatever she is buying.)
Me: Mui, the M&M’s cost a dollar. How many quarters are in a dollar?
Mui: 4
Me: How many chores do you have to do to earn a dollar?
Mui: 4
Me: How many chores does your bag of M&M’s cost?
Mui: (A look of surprise) 4. That’s a lot, Mama.
Me: Yes, it is. It takes a lot of work to earn money to buy things.

I also negotiated a deal where she pays me if she wants me to listen to her whine. I tell her it’s work for me to listen to her whine, so if she can’t stop whining and can’t go to another room when she wants to whine, she will have to pay me a quarter for having to listen to her.
Mui: Here Mama. (hands me a quarter)
Me: Are you whining?
Mui: No. It’s for later.
Me: You are prepaying me so you can whine later?
Mui: Yes. (and laughs)

I think she’s got it.

SO: Where do I need to turn?

Me: Make a right on Martin Luther King Jr.

Mui: I know Martin Luther King Jr.

Me: You do? What do you know about him.

Mui: He’s black.

SO: He is. What else do you know about him?

Mui: He was killed.

Me: Why was he killed?

Mui: He stopped the people from fighting.

SO: Why were the people fighting?

Mui: Because the blacks wanted to sit down and they couldn’t.

SO: Why couldn’t they sit down?

Mui: Because the whites wouldn’t let the blacks sit with them.

SO: And is that ok?

Mui: No. That’s not nice.

Me: And then what happened?

Mui: The blacks and the whites can sit together now.

I am impressed with Mui’s school. It’s difficult to explain civil rights and racism to a 5 year old. Although they did not explain racism, per se, she got that black people were not given the same rights as white people and that it wasn’t right. She got that black people were, literally, fighting for their rights. And she got that MLK was about non-violent protest. All I remember learning at the cloistered Chinese Christian Schools was that dinosaurs didn’t exist and that you can get AIDS from people spitting in your soup. I prefer Mui’s education.